My Desires (Part 4) – Rough, Submissive Sex

Sometimes after doing something particularly submissive or engaging in some act of rough sex, I lay naked in bed wondering how I got myself into that situation. Like many of desires, fetishes and kinks, it goes back to high school. I was easy. No doubt about it. If we ended up alone, I didn’t often say no.

I liked to do what guys wanted. I enjoyed giving head. It wasn’t a chore for me. I loved getting fucked. Call me a slut. I’ll admit now that I am one.

Sometimes me being easy and willing to do what the guy wanted led to more than just a blowjob and vanilla sex. In high school, I experimented with activities like anal sex. It hurt like hell and took more than a few tries before I would describe it as being successful, but even when it was so painful that my eyes teared and I wanted to scream, I enjoyed it. The same with deep throating, hobby I took up in college. It took a lot of practice filled with me gagging, choking and holding back tears. However, I enjoyed the practice and I really enjoyed having a cock in my throat and looking up to see his reaction.

Anal sex and similar activities opened the door to more things. I’ve been handcuffed, I’ve been handcuffed and blindfolded. I like being tied to the bed. I like being tied other places. I’ve been paddled, one time that left me so sore that I couldn’t sit down on my right side for several days. I’ve worn a remote control butt plug in a night club. I’ve had a lot of fun and of course the list doesn’t stop there.

I’ve dated men who have taught me about pain and being a sex slave. Men that I would call my teachers, among other terms. Even in those most intense relationships, it went back to me wanting to do what the guy wanted. Giving my body, my sex to him.

One interesting side note, is that I don’t always want to be submissive and this sometimes throws guys for a loop. In life, I’m fairly independent and can sometimes be an alpha female. Sometimes. In the bedroom I can be the same way too at times. I’ll get in a mood where I want to be on top, riding him hard and exactly the way I want until I come.

I don’t know why it is that I’m submissive only at times, but it’s just the way I am.